New house, New jeans!

Wowza… I’m awesome! It’s been what? Weeks since I blogged? Looks like almost a month! FAIL! But I have many good reasons (excuses) for this.

First of all I moved! Yes it’s true, no more yummy grandma food around to make me a fatty! The downfall to this is that I have no one else to blame now that I control the kitchen, that’s kinda lame! I also have no excuse for why I can’t work out during Leila’s nap. Before it was because “I’m too embarrassed to work out around People” even though I’m a gym member, and unlike most members of a gym I actually go more than once a month. I have this crazy phoebe of working out in front of people. I feel like all the skinny people are looking at me in disgust! It has gotten better now that I’m comfortable with the machines and such at the gym but I still picture the Hot guy at the gym staring at my jiggle ass while I run, (I don’t actually run, I’m not “one of those people” but run sounded better then elliptical. ). What I fear more than the random hot guys watching me at the gym are the fear of people I know watching me!! Oh it makes me freak out just thinking about it. I would never put on a workout video at home and do it while some one was home!! NO WAY! The one good thing that comes out of being paranoid about everyone staring at you while you work out is that I find myself busting my ass when people I know are there, OR the hot guy is eyeing me (which he really isn’t, I’m just too self-conscience to think he wouldn’t be staring at how big my ass. He is too busy checkin himself out in the mirrors and has no idea anyone else is even in the room)! I am not gonna be the fat chick that rides the stationary bike for 5 minutes and is done (I’m sooooo guilty of this by the way) I’m gonna be the fat chick that goes hard just because you are starting at her thinking she is weak because she is overweight! Some of my best work out are when the hot guy is at the gym or someone I know is in the same room.


Another thing that really gets me is that I have lost…. Drum roll….. 76 lbs. now, which is awesome but I still know I could be doing better if I wasn’t such a damn cheater, is that people that don’t know you or have never met you look at you as a chubby chick while all the people that know you are calling you skinny!! What the HELL! It’s so frustrating! Why? Because my little mind is confused! I’m feeling better and know I look damn good compared to my old self and everyone I know is giving me complements. My confidence is on the rise and then some douche bag at the bar flirts with you and tries to get in your pants and when he finds out he has no chance in hell he calls you a “chubby chic”!!!! F YOU DUDE! YOU’RE FAT TOO! NOT ONLY ARE YOU FAT BUT YOU’RE UGLY AND THAT’S WHY YOU HAD NO CHANCE IN HELL GETTING INTO MY PANTIES IN THE FIRST PLACE!! Ok… so maybe I have something I need to let go of from my past BUT SERIOUSLY!! So frustrating. All the new people I meet have NO idea that I’m a weight loss Rock star! I’m proud of that shit! I was a HUGE people, the world needs to know that I am and continue to have self-control (most of the time) and that I have put down the donut!! Maybe I should make a shirt with my fat face on it and have it say “You think I’m chubby now? F YOU! I’m a weight loss ROCKSTAR” … too much?

Ok, ok... I should care what people think, and for the most part I don’t, but I worked hard to be just a “chubby chic” and I want them to all know it damnit! Anyways… through the move and stress and unpacking (which there is no end in sight) I have managed to not gain weight while not being super strict and counting all calories that go in my mouth. I seriously don’t have time for that crap right now, BUT the good news is that I didn’t go crazy while not keep track of every bite. This is HUGE for a food addict! I had self-control while eating something that I normally would want to binge on! I don’t have that kind of self-control so I normally wouldn’t even touch the “naughty food” because I know once it goes in the whole cake is going in with it!

So all in all while I have been gone unpacking a sea of boxes full of pure crap and stressing about all the million things I have to do, things are going well in my weight loss journey. I have surpassed my goal jeans and am finally going to have to buy new jeans as I shrink because I no longer have my “I used to be fat, then I got thin, then I got fat again so I saved my jeans in hopes that I will get thin again” jeans! I haven’t been to the gym in a while and really miss it, and am eager to go back when I have the time and energy (more excuses) because this girl has 20 more lbs. to lose before she reaches her Ultimate goal!!