Skittles under the bed

I’m sure glad we headed to the beach and I gained a million pounds back while indulging in yummy food. And for the record I tried to pay off the scale as previously mentioned but it of course HATES me and accepted no bribes! The scale is like that friend that will tell you when you have a booger in your nose in front of everyone with no discretion. No lies, no sugar coating (oh wouldn’t that be wonderful and delicious) just the straight up truth. It’s a love/hate relationship with the scale and I. I LOVE her when she tells me I’m a whole elephant lighter; I hate her when she tells me I had too much fun eating all weekend! Damn her… My guess is she is a skinny bitch just like the rest of them!


Now that I’m back to the reality of… well… reality I’m reminded of the everyday struggles I face during the week. I find the weekdays much easier than the weekend BUT I have one major pain in my butt during the week, my toddler! My day job title is Stay at home mom, and with that comes a lot and I mean A LOT of challenges for a chunky girl trying to get her sexy on. Here are just a couple…


Challenge #1… Having a toddler driving you crazy most hours of everyday! Don’t get me wrong people, I LOVE being a mom, and I LOVE my daughter even more, BUT that child is just like her momma (me) and let me tell you, I wouldn’t want to stay at home and babysit me (miss attitude) all day 7 days a week. I’m demanding, impatient, and have to have it MY way! My little princess has all of those attributes PLUS she is as adorable as they come (and boy is she lucky for that one)! So how is this a challenge for weight loss? Stress & emotion… two things that make me wanna eat donuts all day long!


Challenge #2… STAY AT HOME mom! Staying at home is one of the hardest things for me because even though there is plenty to keep me busy, like all the undies to fold, toys to put away, and soap operas to watch, there is still a kitchen right in my face! Kitchens make me hungry damnit!! AND Did I mention I currently live with my grandmother? YES that’s right, I have a grandma pantry and kitchen filled with delicious crap that sticks right to your thighs and feels so worth it at the moment of entry into my mouth! I swear EVERYTHINH the lady cooks is a million times better tasting then anything ever! It’s not fair, I’m doomed before I even get out of bed!


Challenge #3… I have No one to keep my accountable. I’m a food addict people! If you don’t have your eyes on me then I am probably shoving Cheetos in my mouth! And the “lady” known as grandma I live with does not count as a food referee, she would be the one dipping the Cheetos in chocolate before I shoved them in my mouth, so much for accountability! Do grandmas want us to be fat? No! They want us to be “happy”, enter the concept that food makes us happy. What a viscous cycle! However, Chris is pretty good at keeping me accountable, though not for the right reasons I’m sure. See he himself has a bit of a problem with the white stuff (sugar) so I think he only keeps me accountable because he doesn’t want to share his candy stash! The best accountability I have is my daughter, she is learning habits from me by watching my every move. She is the reason for many changes that need to be made, BUT I’m also still guilty of knowing when I hide under the bed with my skittles she can’t see me!


Being a stay at home mom is the hardest job I have ever hand, and that’s BEFORE the job of getting a sexy ass, add them together and I think “damn, I need to ask for a raise”… Of course I’m the financial advisor for the household so I don’t think that will be an issue!!